i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
