Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
