I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
