stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
