I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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