Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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