he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
