you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
