she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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