So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
