just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
did you just send me my own nude
I am one with the molecules
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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