Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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