There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
