Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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