I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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