I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
