Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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