I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
