Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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