My boss' voice literally gives me gas
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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