What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
