If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
