Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
