im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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