Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
