I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
