Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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