I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We're too hungover to prance.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
