I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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