To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
