new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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