you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
