rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
