my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Randomize
