I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
