i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
