its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
