she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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