so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
