That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
