And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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