the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
