i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
