I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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