Where is the hickey?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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