Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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