He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
