Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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