so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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