We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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