So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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